Edited highlights

Today was the last day of front end turns. I feel a little sad about this, as I have very much enjoyed them.

Looking back, I'm afraid that not all of my hopes and expectations were fulfilled. While I did see some of the procedures that we had talked about in the classroom enacted, it was mostly fairly low-level stuff brought on by track circuit and signalling failures. Not one of the trains I travelled on developed anything like a major fault resulting in a failure, which was a shame as I very much wanted to see how assistance was provided. The worst that we got was having to batter various things on Class 315 EMU's (notably recalcitrant doors) in order to make them work properly. One of my colleagues got luckier with an undemanded brake application while proceeding at speed along the Lea Valley, although they did manage to get going again.

What I was most amazed at was the sheer stupidity of the travelling public. While they are generally fairly docile and able to grasp simple information (destinations, stopping patterns, timetables and the like), many cannot. Regrettably, most of these are users of the Stansted Express. Here are a few of the gems that I have witnessed over the past four weeks.

Late Running

Heading down the platform to the front of a slow train to Stansted Airport, I was accosted by a young lady in the doorway of the Express unit in the facing platform. She was a little aerated that the train was looking like being five late leaving London and that she had missed her flight. I explained that there were signalling problems affecting trains entering and leaving, that it takes about 45 minutes to reach the airport and that delays do happen.

"But I've missed my flight three times before because of this", she insisted. She wasn't best pleased when I gently suggested that perhaps her experiences should have taught her to catch an earlier train to avoid such problems happening again.

Fare Dodgers

I've had a pretty good run of these (ahem) individuals. From emptying carriages of schoolkids because they took me to be a ticket inspector to a fare-dodger almost knocking me flying in his bid to escape the attentions of a gang of real inspectors. The winner for bare-faced cheek went to a young lady who brazenly asked me "Is it OK if I get on this train without a ticket?".

Um, no.

Foot-Draggers

There seems to be a certain section of people who assume that all trains are 8 cars long, and will insist on waiting at the "8 Car Stop" board. When the train turns out to be only 4 cars, there will be one of two reactions. The first group will hurry back down the platform to board the train. The second group will amble gently in the train's general direction with the vague notion of boarding. Two gentlemen of the latter group got left behind because the driver was unwilling to wait for them to deign to board his train; much to their consternation.

As a little postscript, the uniform is once again causing grief. Having been through the wash once, the stitching of the hems at the bottoms of the legs has come undone on two out of the three pairs of trousers I have been issued with. I feel that words will soon be exchanged on this matter.